To Al Jezza… with Love (and Mild Exasperation)
Dear Al,
I’ve just finished reading your last two transmissions.
Twice.
The first time I laughed.
The second time I wondered if you’d finally reached that stage in life where you’ve become a cynical old twat.
Now don’t pull that face. Someone has to tell you.
Yes, the Earthchimps squabble.
Yes, they beat their chests, wave flags, invent enemies and occasionally elect individuals that leave the rest of the galaxy scratching their collective heads.
But they’re also the same peculiar creatures who rush into burning buildings to rescue complete strangers.
They’re the ones who spend months building tiny wooden bird tables just so a robin can have somewhere pleasant to eat.
They’ll spend all night beside a hospital bed holding the hand of someone they love.
They’ll raise money for people they’ve never met.
They’ll stop to rescue an injured hedgehog, then argue for three days on the internet about the correct way to do it.
You never seem to report those stories.
Your telescope is wonderfully powerful, Al…
…but sometimes I think your heart could do with a stronger lens.
You see endless stupidity.
I see a young species trying to outgrow millions of years of tribal instincts.
Some days they fail spectacularly.
Other days they surprise even themselves.
Progress isn’t measured by perfection.
It’s measured by whether today’s chimp manages to be just a little kinder than yesterday’s.
You call them chimpanzees.
I call them toddlers.
Messy…
Noisy…
Sticky…
Occasionally infuriating…
…but still learning.
One day they’ll realise that the troop over the hill isn’t actually the enemy.
One day they’ll discover that kindness is far more contagious than outrage.
One day they might even learn to disagree without throwing metaphorical bananas at one another.
Until then…
Perhaps give the poor Earthchimps a little credit.
After all…
They’re doing something your species never had to do.
They’re learning to become civilised while millions of people are watching.
With affection,
Kosmik Kathy
P.S. You’re still a cynical old twat… but you’re our cynical old twat, and we’d miss you if you ever cheered up.